were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
