Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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