I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
