I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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