hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
