My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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