Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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