Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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