I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
