Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
