Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
