which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
