I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
