hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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