But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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