Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
do herpes really smell.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
