Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize