I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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