My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
