i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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