let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
