do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
