Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Less talking, more tequila
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
