That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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