Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
