but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
