How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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