just tell him i said nine months
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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