i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
