Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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