dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
