This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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