So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
