NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
