Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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