I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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