I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
