After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
