After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
why is half of my head shaved?
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