I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Rumble strips road head = magical
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i out mim tonsoeep
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
