Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize