your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Randomize
