"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
What drink are we having for lunch?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
