Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
