just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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