did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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