My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
