If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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