I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
