i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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