perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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