This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
