Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
